I have the unusual privilege of reflecting on my poor behaviour this night.
I went out for a meal with my work colleagues to wish one of them a safe onward journey to greener pastures.
I failed in my duty to myself and I became one amongst the crowd. And it was as if I was in a druken stupor even whilst alcohol remained alien to me. Stupor is the right word for even though my senses did not dim, I continuously failed to see my foolishness until the evening had done.
Maybe it was because of the unusual setting for me, or maybe because the purport remained clouded within a catch all "have a good time". Just maybe whenever anybody goes for a good time, they cannot bear, like me, to listen to defening silence and then in order to fill that void- talk vain. They put their colleagues and friends down, poke fun, reveal confidences and then call it banter or a tease.
It was interesting to observe that whilst my colleagues work well as a team in our organisation. But that when it came to relatively unstructured meal together the weak became easy game whilst the strong, and vocal, carried the day. Like as if we were on the battlefields of Golding's Lord of the Flies.
Now I know what it means by the fact that vain talk will become obsolete in Jannah. First that it is something disgusting and lowly that brings out the worst in us. Second that in Jannah every second will be a SubhanAllah and every thought and act a purposeful conduit.
I would that that Jannah were here for me nor.
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